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Cynic

from The History Weave by Sentinel

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The days became longer, or so it seemed. The nights became colder, or so it seemed. Everything became harder for the Vessel, this I acknowledged as truth
Never had I, he (I don’t even know if the Vessel is me anymore), thought it would be this difficult or this tiresome to carry out the task given by Life. The premise was simple, contain the evil so humanity could grow to glory. The deception was enormous, humanity would only rise to its promise for a brief moment and then it would feast on itself in a gesture of total depravity. The rose that was the beauty of humanity withered with terrifying speed.
I watched from my mountain, my home, my sanctuary. I watched them figure out amazing things. I watched as they learned of compassion, generosity, love, the bittersweet beauty of grief. These they took with an open heart and a pure mind. They lived in perfect harmony and many a time their simple acts of a good life were enough of a balm to my soul that the voice of Darkness would not trouble me for many moons after. For all its taunting and whisperings it would do nothing to shift the feeling of total serenity that came from watching my flock, for such is how I viewed them. I was their ever watchful shepherd who would hide in shadows and guide with an invisible, careful hand.
But then, of a sudden, they started to change. They were no more content with their lot in life. They grew envious of others wealth, no matter how marginal the amount. They became discontent with labour, they found no joy in a sore back from a hard day’s work under a beautiful sun. They employed their cleverness to build things to make their life easier so they would have more time for themselves. This was only slightly troubling, for I too felt these same stirrings of emotions. Many a time had I noticed a stirring jealousy for the people who didn’t carry the enormity of Death inside their mind. It must be so simple to go day by day without malevolence inside their very being. I would while away many an hour wondering if there was some means to invent a device which might house Death or at least quiet its voice. Alas, my dreaming availed me nothing. So their changes worried me only but a little for I could sympathise.
Then, one day, it all changed.
In one of the few times I let myself down from Isolation Point I found myself a family man. I was roped into the family with barely an introduction, for their need was dire. The father had been killed in a freak accident and they needed someone to fill the gap as chief provider. With great hesitance I slotted into their simple life and soon found myself happier than I had in many an age.
But if my eternal life has taught me one thing it is this; Good things cannot last forever. To think otherwise is the epitome of idiocy.
It was a day like any other, the sun rose, birds sang and we worked. It was normal. Then, from nowhere, came men brandishing various weapons. They came with great determination and expressions that looked carved from stone. With unfaltering pace they came to the house, grabbed the smallest child and cut her throat before my eyes. No words, no apparent motive, just mindless butchery. Watching the life fade from tiny eyes would be the straw that would break the camel’s back, the one pebble to start an avalanche.
They then set on a course of destruction that would scar my memory forever and leave me cold and empty as the stone I would call my home.
I found evil had a new name; one that was not Death, or the Darkness, or The End. The name of corruption was Humanity.
I ran. Not out of fear of death, for I cannot die, but out of fear of seeing the true nature of the people I would save by containing the darkness.
To watch their rapid decent was terrifying. Wars began over trivial issues, rape became common practice, life became a valueless thing and they did away with people with not even a thought. The lack of regard for the sanctity of life, harmony with nature, being good for the sake of being good, brought tears to my eyes that would not stop for days.
This was many thousands of years ago and since then people have grown increasingly clever but also unkind, disconnected, heartless. I can’t even find a connection besides the physical to them anymore.
They go about with minds of gluttony, lust, debauchery and total callousness. They have no regard for anyone other than themselves. They have built many a monument in testament to their own ‘magnificence’ and Life has become no more than a memory, a tale to be whispered about with tones of ridicule and sarcasm.
I don’t know why I bother with them anymore. I don’t even know why I bother with these writings either. No one will ever read them and if they did they would surely think them the ravings of a lunatic. Maybe they would be right; maybe that is what I actually am. What person in their right mind would keep a force of destruction from wiping out what is clearly the biggest mistake Life has ever made? This is a question I keep asking myself. Unfortunately, it also a question I find no comfortable answer for.
I’m finding nothing good of these people and I am growing weaker in my resolve and these writings are doing nothing but causing a desolation of the soul.
The Vessel has become the Cynic and struggles with upholding his task of protecting mankind. But why should he, I (again I don’t know who I am or who He is now), protect them? Why protect a miserable disappointment that shows no sign of any kind of decency? These questions trouble an already fragile heart. The cracks in my mental armour are spreading and there is no one who can help me.
I have cried out in despair and rage for Life to manifest on this wretch of rock and earth but I have found no response. I am truly alone. I scoff at the thought, realising I would cherish it If only such was the case. I am never truly alone for the voice of the Darkness is always but a thought away, never relenting with its constant chatter of doom, death and damnation. Maybe I should finally give in to its demands. They no longer seem that unrealistic. Wipe the slate clean; punish Life for its arrogance.
But this shall not be the day. I have at least one more day of searching and pleading for Life. If I find no response then I fear my barriers shall break and I will not be able to fight off the madness. Death will finally have its wish and I will finally die. Oh, such a beautiful tragedy should it transpire. Obtaining obliteration would be the greatest gift I have ever received. And I need only look inside to find it. The temptation is truly terrifying. I quiver at the thought but whether from fear or excitement, I know not. The answer to that question may be more terrifying than anything I have witnessed in my endless life.
I’m breaking. This may be the last time I carve words into this stone. I can feel the end approaching. And I welcome it.

- The Cynic, The Vessel, The Guardian, The Shepherd, The Betrayed.

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from The History Weave, released August 14, 2013

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Sentinel Melbourne, Australia

We are a 5 piece progressive metalcore band from Melbourne, Australia.

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